Austin 7/11 Solves Homeless Issue With Bad Music

Homelessness is a serious issue in much of the country. It doesn’t matter the climate or the socio-economic level of the region, there seem to be homeless and panhandlers on every corner. No wonder, because this is Joe Biden’s America, where food is scarce and expensive, housing is through the roof, and blue states facilitate drug abuse and unemployment to the point that you can hardly walk down the street without being accosted for money or stepping in street chocolate. One Austin, Texas 7/11 however had devised a brilliant plan to keep the vagrants from congregating on their property. Check this out.

A 7-Eleven in Austin, Texas is reportedly using opera music to keep homeless people from camping out in front of the store.

Brilliant move actually, since literally no one likes opera or classical music. Yes, people claim to like both, but those are the same people that claim to not own television sets, and love NPR. We all know that is just a flex intended to add an air of sophistication. Outside of people that actually PERFORM opera, no one likes it.

TV station KXAN reported on the store which residents in the city’s Riverside neighborhood say is using weaponized arias to keep its sidewalks from being used as pillows.

The station even interviewed one homeless man about the tunes terminating from the convenience store.

“I think it’s to keep us homeless (people) off of their property,” Kevin Morgan said. “No one wants to listen to classical music. So they run us off by the classical music, so we don’t hang out in the parking lot.”

I suppose it is too much to ask for homeless people to not congregate on private property. The situation is out of control because blue states, and some red states with blue mayors have made rousting and dispersing vagrants off limits. In the name of compassion, homeless people are being allowed to do drugs, beg, stay drunk and generally menace people in public spaces. This isn’t to say that a number of these people legitimately need mental health intervention, but for every ten of those, there’s five that are just “free spirits” and don’t want to be part of the system. Bums, to be blunt. Apparently, bums don’t like classical music. Go figure.

Residents have noticed that the music currently plays almost around the clock.

“I was just astounded by how loud it was. Annoying, this early in the morning,” local Jessica Cohen said. “Not that I don’t love classical music, but this is just rude.”

It is hilarious that this person makes a point of saying she “loves” classical music but isn’t happy to hear it all day long. My guess is if you searched her iTunes (is that still a thing), you’d find more Lizzo and less Mozart. Not like there could be any MORE of Lizzo, but I digress. It’s not unusual for music to be used to torture and dissuade people. The government famously played White Zombie music on a loop to drive the Branch Davidians and David Koresh out of their Waco compound. That didn’t work out well in retrospect, but White Zombie is kind of awesome. Perhaps they should play Lizzo, maybe some Megan Thee Stallion and even put WAP on a loop to run off trespassers. I mean, I wouldn’t stay anywhere that stuff is being played. Give me a nice concerto over Cardi B any day!

The 7-Eleven alleged to have been playing the music did not respond to KXAN’s request for comment. However, locals told the station that they’ve noticed fewer homeless people outside the store since they started playing the music.

Hey, whatever works! People should be able to get their slushie on without seeing hobo Joe pissing on the sidewalk. Even better, people should be able to go out of their house without hearing Lizzo. In a perfect world someday, maybe.

Featured image screen grab from embedded Tweet


Notice: This article may contain commentary that reflects the author's opinion.

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