Granny Send Yogi Packing: Team Human!

There are implied risks when you live in certain areas, and not just from people but from wildlife.

Live in Kentucky, eventually a deer IS going to run in front of your car. Live in Canada? Do I even need to tell you about the dangers of Elk? Australia is packed with creatures that will murder you just for getting near them. Live in India? I bet you’ve seen a cobra on the walk home from your job at Uber Customer support.

Tennessee, despite being called the “Volunteer” state, may more aptly be called the bear state. They are everywhere. I’ve driven through Tennessee and seen bears nosing through roadside trash more than once. If there is food, Yogi is going to figure out how to get his adorable little snout in it.

One Tennessee resident recently had an unbearable experience and had to open a fresh can of whoop ass on Paddington bear.

Here’s the story via Outkick:

90-year-old Tennessee grandma has advice for those of you in bear country — be on high alert this weekend while enjoying time on your patio.

You need to have your head on a swivel. Bears mean business this year.

“We’ve had bears, they get more common each year,” Altha told WVLT in Knoxville. “I’ve seen it before, but I hadn’t been out around it because it has the cubs, but I’ve been sitting here long times when they walk up here, and they don’t bother you.”

Ouch. A 90-year-old grandma squaring up against a bear with her cubs. Vegas isn’t laying good odds on granny walking away from that matchup. Even with home field advantage, bears are faster, stronger, and if they are hungry for a smackeral of something sweet, they are going to satisfy that craving, granny be damned.

Granny don’t play.https://t.co/TVgqVVup28

— RIFF Outdoors (@riffoutdoors) June 17, 2022

Pooh bear wasn’t in a playing mood, but Altha had her own secret weapon — one of her lawn chairs.

“I was just sitting here, hadn’t been here more than two or three minutes,” Williams said. “Evidently it heard me. It just made a lunge at me.”

The bear was able to land a glancing blow to Altha’s arm, but she wasn’t going down like that. This granny fought back with her lawn chair and Smokey was off and running scared back into the woods to find a meal at a more hospitable feeding spot.

Eventually, the bear that attacked granny was caught and was euthanized.

Firstly, I sincerely hope this wasn’t the bear she had seen with it’s cubs. I understand as a staunch supporter of #teampeople that humans come first, and the bear may have had rabies or something else wrong with it, but to catch it and euthanize it just because it wanted a snack, even if it was “little old lady” just seems harsh. Plus, maybe I’m no bear expert, but they all sort of look alike to me. Maybe that’s bear racism on my part, but I’m pleading ignorance on this one.

It’s been a busy week in the Smoky Mountains where a 3-year-old girl and her mother were attacked while camping. That bear ripped through their tent and scratched the mother and daughter before taking off.

“In this incident, the bear was likely attracted to food smells throughout the area, including dog food at the involved campsite,” Lisa McInnis, Chief of Resource Management with Great Smoky Mountain National Park said. “It is very difficult to deter this learned behavior and, as in this case, the result can lead to an unacceptable risk to people.”

Stay alert this summer folks! While granny might have been able to fight off Paddington with a chair like Jimmy Hart, “Mouth of the South” style, it could’ve been just as likely that nana wasn’t heard from for a few days as she could’ve been a bear snack. Remember #TEAMPEOPLE!