Welcome to Grocery Shortages 2022! Here’s What To Stock Up On!

It’s always something, right? Brandon and his cast of idiots just can’t seem to get right. Supply chain issues, high gas prices, a short labor market, are just a few of the factors contributing to grocery store shortages.

We all remember the great toilet paper shortage of 2020. Who wants to go through that again? Thankfully there wasn’t a great sock shortage in 2020. Just kidding! I get enough junk mail from the post office that I’m set until after the election cycle!

All joking aside, it was a real concern. I remember not being able to find crackers, milk, toilet paper, paper towels, among other things the last couple of years. The reasons given are varied, but this is America. I should be able to eat a damn cracker!

So, what are we looking at shortage wise for the rest of the summer into the fall? Let’s check with CNET and see:

If you’re having a hard time finding products like baby formula, Sriracha sauce and tampons at the grocery store, you’re not alone. The shortages are due to a complicated set of problems — from the supply chain issues caused by the pandemic to the ongoing war. There’s also the drought and high temperatures many countries are facing due to climate change. And it’s unclear when the supply for these items will bulk back up.

I took this picture last night at the grocery store. Why are there still shortages at my local grocery store? pic.twitter.com/kH7pTM6rRB

— Gravitonium Tim Talbot (@Tim_3001) July 27, 2022

Let me just say for the record, if you are shopping for baby formula, Sriracha sauce, and tampons, I don’t want to hang out with you. We clearly don’t party the same way. I digress.

There we have the boogeyman, otherwise known as climate change. Otherwise known as Summer. Sure, let’s blame weather. Industrial agriculture has ample access to irrigation. There should be no heat related issues affecting crops produced in this way. Cold, yes but they can’t blame crop failure on climate change when it’s cold.

Let’s take a quick inventory of what we WON’T be finding:

Baby formula- Well, we knew this one already. If the Dems get their way we will have a lot fewer babies anyway, but that doesn’t help the existing supply. Of formula, not babies. Brandon’s administration has been working on the issue. Probably explains the problem.

Sriracha Sauce- Is this stuff in that high of demand? Personally, never had it, so doesn’t affect me! Apparently, Mexico is experiencing a drought, because, well it’s Mexico.

Tampons- Now here is a situation that needs addressed NOW! Especially if any ladies will be vacationing in the woods or at the beach this Summer. Sharks and bears, oh my! Maybe stop putting them in boy’s bathrooms too. That would help.

Popcorn- Movie theater goers, beware! There’s a popcorn shortage looming that could affect your movie watching experience due to supply chain issues. Farmers are also expected to plant less corn this year and instead plant more soybeans.

The extra soybean production might be responsible for the extra estrogen coursing through men’s veins lately. Just a theory.

Pet Food- How? Pet food, to my knowledge is made mostly from leftovers and trash. How are we short on pig’s ears and chicken beaks?

There’s a shortage of canned wet dog and cat food across the country due to supply chain issues, and it’s not expected to go away any time soon. 

It’s a good thing dogs will eat poo and just about anything that hits the floor. Your cat? I’d lock my bedroom door at night just in case mittens gets any ideas.

Peaches- A freeze that hit the Southeast in late March delayed this year’s peach season. At the same time, an unseasonably warm winter followed by two brutal cold snaps decimated peach crops in the Northeast.

Wait what? A freeze hit the Southeast in March. But, but, CLIMATE CHANGE!!!! Guess we can’t blame climate change for our cobbler related shortages this year.

I’m sure this list will grow as Brandon botches his way through the fall and winter. Stay tuned for any further updates, and happy shopping!