Watch: Pooh and Piglet Break Bad in New Take on AA. Milne Classic

Being of a certain age, there are several triggers that even know, take me back to my childhood. The ticking clock of Sixty Minutes, The Theme Song to All in the Family, A Charlie Brown Christmas, and Winnie the Pooh, among others take me back to a simpler time where all I had to worry about was whether my homework was done what I was getting for Christman, and whether Pooh and Piglet were going to break into my house and kill us all. Wait, what?

Pooh, Piglet, Eeyore, Tigger and the 100-acre woods were such a safe, charming part of my childhood.  Even now I will laugh if I see Piglet trying to push fat little Pooh through the honey tree as he is getting a smackeral of something sweet. Just too funny.

Sometimes film makers like to take certain liberties with classic material and make them new again. Abraham Lincoln hunting vampires, Jane Eyre and zombies, really stuff that actually makes the characters more interesting anyway.

Not Pooh Bear! No! Did we really need an “updated” version? Do we need grown up, live action versions of my childhood favorites? With weapons? Guess I know what tonight’s nightmares will be about. Check this out from People:

The willy-nilly silly old bear is out to scare in Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey, the Rhys Waterfield-directed slasher film that first shocked its nostalgic audience when the first look images were released in May.

This is just un-bearable. What could have gone so wrong in Pooh’s life to send him down this road? I blame Tigger, he always seemed like a loose cannon. And a tiger. Plus, there was always the negativity from Eeyore. You just couldn’t have a good day around him. I could see how a pig and bear could snap from the depression.

Dare to enter into the Hundred Acre Wood? If so, get ready to be greeted by a maniacal and demonic Pooh and Piglet who have “essentially become feral” and are “going on a rampage.”

Oh and don’t think we forgot about their good pal Christopher Robin! He’s quite frankly the reason for their devilish disturbance after abandoning them as he heads off to college.

So, what we have here is a story of abandonment at its core, and the psychological effect on the abandoned. Even if the abandoned are a make-believe rabbit, donkey, bear, tiger, and pig.

“The story is that they’ve gone on this onslaught from being kind of enraged by what’s happened to Christopher [Robin]… Pooh and Piglet experience a drastic drop in food as Christopher grew up and over the years became increasingly hungry and feral,” he explained.

“Winnie the Pooh: Blood and Honey”looks like it might be the worst movie ever made. That said, I plan to preorder tickets and be there opening night. pic.twitter.com/SOo7MhXWbt

— laney (@laneymakesstuff) August 31, 2022

“They had to resort to eating Eeyore and then Christopher returns with his wife to introduce her to his old friends, and when that happens they get enraged, when they see him, all of their hatred that they’ve built up over the years unleashes and they go on this rampage.”

Sounds pretty standard, right. Sometimes when we go on longer vacation, we get some menacing looks from the cats, not going to lie. They haven’t chosen violence yet, but you never know.

I can’t lie, despite my love for the source material, I will probably find a way to see this movie. It was filmed in about ten days close to the actual 100-acre woods so it’s a bit low budget, but from the looks of the trailer, it will be a campy good time, unlike my night’s sleep tonight. Thanks Piglet!