Stupid Florida Criminal Shoots Himself in Baby-Maker, Gets Roasted on TikTok by Police Department for His Trouble

Lee County Florida Sheriff Carmine Marceno has a reputation as a bad ass, but he also has a well-known reputation for putting stupid criminals on blast on social media. Marceno loves catching crooks, but he also loves roasting them too. One stupid Florida criminal not only shot himself in the family business, but Marceno went viral for the subsequent hilarious video. Check this out.

If you commit a crime Lee County, Florida you run the risk of not just being arrested, but of being roasted on social media too. That’s because the Lee County Sheriff’s Office is on TikTok and the sheriff, Carmine Marceno, really enjoys making videos.

The sheriff’s office’s latest video is getting some attention for jokes poking fun at a gun toting felon’s misfortune. Sheriff Marceno explains how the man was riding around on a scooter with a stolen gun in his waistband when it discharged and he shot himself in the junk.

This story already sounds like a disaster. When you take into account the crooks face tattoos, it only makes sense that he would be careless enough to not put the safety on with a loaded weapon inches from his fruit bowl. However, there’s a reason most criminals are criminals; they aren’t very smart!

Marceno explains, “A violent convicted felon roaming the streets of North Fort Myers on a scooter, with a stolen firearm in his waistband.”

“He tries to kick start that scooter and accidentally discharges that firearm and shoots his…”

What happens next in the video can only be described as a montage of phallus-related puns. It is actually a scene lifted from an Austin Powers movie. It fits perfectly, unlike the loaded gun in his waistband.

When the scene concludes Marceno returns with a straight face, and more information about the alleged crime. The text overlay reads, “Alan Sawyer was charged with possession of a firearm by a convicted felon.”

Marceno adds, “He got immediate medical attention and off to the Marceno Motel where he belongs.”

Fort Myers is still rebuilding and licking its wounds post-Ian, and Marceno has no patience for lawlessness in his county. The “Marceno Motel” is full of stupid crooks, and the fact that its well known that the Sheriff loves little more than making hilarious videos featuring his motel guests, one would think criminals like Alan Sawyer would exercise a little more caution with his stolen gun. Of course, considering Sawyer was on a scooter like a child probably lends some insight into his likely level of intelligence. Keep shooting your Richard off and breaking the law in Lee County and Sheriff Marceno will make sure you get to see a doctor and that you have a place to stay courtesy of Lee County while we get treated to hilarious videos and Marceno shows the rest of America how Florida does it.

Notice: This article may contain commentary that reflects the author's opinion.

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