People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, better known as PETA, and better known yet as a bunch of crazy people that don’t want anyone to have a delicious steak, recently decided to intervene and get the evil “burgers” removed from the “Good Burger” sequel.
While I have no problem removing the movie Good Burger entirely from the public consciousness, as it was terrible, since Hollywood has no new ideas it was announced that a sequel to the 1997 flick about two low IQ teenagers working in a fast food joint called “Good Burger” has officially been green-lit. Pretty cutting edge stuff. Not if PETA has anything to say about it. Like a turd-in-the-punchbowl, presumably loose from the lack of protein, PETA has weighed in with the production company to make the movie even worse by making Good Burger a vegan joint! Sounds like fun! Check this out:
You know who’s NOT excited for the upcoming Good Burger sequel? PETA.
Anyway, the wet blankets are apparently outraged that Kenan Thompson and Kel Mitchell are reprising their roles as Dexter and Ed in the follow-up to the 1997 comedy, and even reached out to them via letter to beg them not to shine a light on eating cows.
Instead, they have a healthy, inclusive alternative …
“Welcome to Good Burger, home of the vegan burger – can I take your order?” wrote PETA in a letter directly to the two iconic actors.
The fun folks at PETA have penned a letter to Kenan and Kel and are coming after Good Burger 2. https://t.co/YzcbkC32TN
— OutKick (@Outkick) March 22, 2023
Presumably, the individual letters that both actors received went into the trash immediately after opening. At least they should have. At this point, most people know that anything that PETA touches is awful. Or sticky, especially when they glue themselves to something in protest. With horse free glue, of course.
“That’s what we at PETA have in mind for Good Burger 2. Some things (like beef patties) are better left in the ’90s, and if Good Burger has any hope of surviving new competition in 2023, its menu will abundantly feature animal-free offerings, including meat-free burgers, dairy-free shakes, and, of course, a special secret vegan sauce.”
To be honest, you have to admire PETA’s tenacity. Despite being weak from a lack of protein, and having weak ankles from the iron deficiency, PETA has dug in, in hopes of getting vegan options at everyone’s third favorite movie burger joint. Give me McDowells from “Coming to America”, and Mooby’s from “Clerks” creator Kevin Smith every day over Good Burger.
As for Keenan Thompson and Kel Mitchell, the hope is they move forward, cash those checks, which I can only assume Mitchell needs, and double down on the beef. After all, vegan food is much like Christian rock; it will do if there’s nothing else, but even good versions of both still kind of suck.
While I hated the original movie, mostly because my kids at the time loved the movie and I had to endure it too many times on VHS tape (we didn’t have a dvd player yet), I might just grab a sack of sliders, the biggest chocolate shake I can find and some nugs, or boneless wings in BWW case, and chow down while watching Good Burger 2 and giving two good fingers to PETA. Sounds like a plan!
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