81-Year-Old Martha Stewart Lands SI Swimsuit Cover

The Sports Illustrated swimsuit edition has been a staple in mancaves for decades. Dating back to the 70s, the edition has featured some of the most beautiful women in modeling history. Kate Upton, Beyonce’, Elle McPherson, Cheryl Tiegs; the list goes on and on.

Now, since it is 2023 and the world is increasingly upside down, a new and interesting model will grace one of this year’s covers. Martha Stewart. Or should I say 81-year-old Martha Stewart?

To be fair, Martha looks banging for an octogenarian, but have we lost our way so much as a society that Stewart merits the cover? Come on already! Check this out.

“What I hope I exude is ‘appealing,'” Stewart says during a sit-down interview with TODAY.com, remarking on her series of poses. “Because it says there might be some physical defects in terms of the ‘ideal’ woman, but I have nice legs, I have a good body, I have good skin.”

While she said she may not be perfect, Stewart says, “Who cares? It looks good altogether, the package is good.”

Sure, the package is good. Kudos to Stewart for looking great at 81. However, is “good” what Sports Illustrated is looking for with their iconic Swimsuit Edition? Would Stewart accept good in terms of cooking, the industry where she made her mark? My guess is no, but once again, another out-of-touch company forgets who their target audience is.

“I did say to the editors, ‘I don’t want to wear any old-lady bathing suits. I don’t want little bows and stuff here and there, and cover-ups. I did not go for that look. I went for a nice, healthy, energized and, if you want to call it ‘sexy,’ sort of sexy look,” she says.

At least there is that. If you are going to put an 81-year-old body on display, at least display it. No one wants to look at the cover and see their mother’s swimsuit on it.

Of course, seeing your mother would be preferable to seeing your father. In addition to Stewart, Megan Fox, and Kim Petras are also going to be gracing covers. According to Outkick:

In addition to Martha, SI also named transgender person Kim Petras as a cover model Monday.

In short, a woman no longer needs to be hot or fit to land on the cover of Sports Illustrated. In fact, being trans, large, or old might just increase their chances.

But they best hurry before management ultimately puts the kibosh on the Swimsuit Issue following its decade of diminished sales.

Maybe it would be best if SI retired the entire concept. The brand is in decline, and the concept of a physical magazine is outdated. No one is rushing out to buy a copy of something that features the type of cover models that Sports Illustrated is featuring. The target audience is men. The vast majority of men simply aren’t down with what SI is doing. Outside of Megan Fox, who is interested in Kim Petras or Martha Stewart? SI is simply looking for clout from a small, fringe group that isn’t buying their magazine anyway.

Sad days for Sports Illustrated and the Swimsuit Edition. Martha Stewart looks great for 81, but not in my mancave.




Notice: This article may contain commentary that reflects the author's opinion.

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