Note: This is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. Elon Musk recently purchased Tesla in a whopper of a deal, paying the gargantuan sum of $44 billion to take over the social media giant in a move that has sent the blue-haired left into a hilarious to watch spiral of worry, fear, and concern. And that was before Elon even did anything that might warrant concern; all he did was buy the company. Now he’s sent the White House and all those who generally side with Biden into apoplectic fits, using his new position as Emperor…
Author: Frank Bojazi
NOTE: This is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. There’s a bad, dark moon on the rise now that Elon Musk, the eccentric oligarch who comes from apartheid-era South Africa, is in charge of Twitter. Thanks to him, rampaging crowds of self-proclaimed “Twitter respecters” are going wild and assaulting people they call “censorship enthusiasts” in a wild orgy of violence directed at those who once controlled the censorship-prone social media site. In fact, the crowds of “Twitter respecters,” all die-hard Elon Musk fans wearing around Tesla hats and carrying jumper cables with them, have even gone…
NOTE: This is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. It was a rough day at the White House after Slow Joe attempted giving a speech despite having only one teleprompter with extra-large text and seven rounds of morning stimulants so that he could stay awake for the full 20-minute event. Having only had enough stimulant rounds to keep him awake and sentient for ten minutes, the first part of Biden’s speech went (relatively) well, with the president only mixing up the city he was in (Austin) with a relatively similar (to him) city, Madrid. On that…
Billionaire and entrepreneur Elon Musk’s business career has consisted of huge successes mixed with a few periods of time when the forward-thinking South African-born entrepreneur almost lost it all. Musk is now the new owner of the social media platform Twitter. Twitter’s board of directors approved the $44 billion transaction on Monday for $54.20 per share, and it’s expected to close this year, subject to the approval of Twitter’s shareholders and other regulatory approvals. Elon took over a San Francisco-based company known for employing progressives and for their overt censorship of the platform’s massive number of users. Based on their moderators’…
There is a billionaire known around the world who is actively funding the deconstruction of independent nations into a new world order. His name is George Soros, a Hungarian-born American billionaire investor and philanthropist, the Founder / Chair of Open Society Foundations. Soros is also indirectly funding Governing for Impact. His funds allow GFI to work behind the scenes with President Biden’s administration to shape policies, according to documents reviewed by Fox News show. From the GFI website; “Govern for Impact is dedicated to building a world where boards lead the organization to achieving clear purpose and critical outcomes in…
The Biden administration is back at the Supreme Court again on Tuesday. The United States Supreme Court (SCOTUS) is scheduled to hear a case concerning the administration’s cancellation of another one of former President Trump’s immigration policies. In 2019, the Trump administration installed the Remain in Mexico program that helped eliminate the disastrous policy of Catch and Release at the U.S.-Mexico border. Rather than apprehending and releasing border-crossers into the U.S. interior, the program required officials to return border crossers to Mexico while awaiting their asylum and immigration hearings in U.S. courts. Even though the Stay in Mexico policy was…
In what seems like rote reporting at this point, another vaccinated and boosted D.C. Establishment figure has tested positive for Covid. This time, Kamala Harris gets to take her turn thanking the wonderful performance of four shots for ensuring her bout with the virus is not as bad as it could have been. Kirsten Allen, the press secretary for the Vice President, released this statement: “Today, Vice President Harris tested positive for Covid-19 on rapid and PCR tests. She has exhibited no symptoms, will isolate and continue to work from the vice president’s residence. She has not been a close…
I saw a meme recently that resonated with today’s insanity. It basically said that in twelve years, the political left has gone from anti-war, anti-pharma, and pro-worker to the complete opposite. It’s actually an incredible feat, and if I didn’t know any better I’d say someone had bet a dollar they couldn’t get the sheeple to do a 180 on every supposed core value. It’s Trading Places on a national political level. With Elon Musk’s purchase of Twitter, we can add concern over Big Tech to the list. How are people honestly this stupid? For years, we have been told…
Note: This is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. After years of screeching “hypocrite” every time the Democrats do something hypocritical, a charge that never does anything other than rile up the base (leftists couldn’t care less about being called ‘the real racists,’ or whatever. They know the charge sticks on the GOP better than them), the GOP thinks it’s found a charge that’ll finally stick and stop the Dems. What is that charge? That certain legislators, legislators that will remain nameless so as to avoid a repeat of the John McAfee end (suicided) for this…
NOTE: This is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. In what will be terrible news for those who enjoy seeing at least one major company not toe every single bit and piece of the leftist line about whatever the current thing is, a partnership composed mainly of Bill Gates and George Soros has announced that it, in revenge for Elon buying Twitter and rolling back the forces of censorship, will be buying Chick Fil A and taking that company public. Posting about it on Twitter, Gates said “Who’s the pregnant man now, Elon?” That response was…
Shortly after Elon Musk purchased Twitter for over $40 billion, thousands of leftist users abandoned the soon-to-be free speech haven and announced a plan to join up again on Weibo, the CCP-owned social media company, in the hopes of finding an online environment that censors different opinions. Several Twitter users posted one final tweet announcing their departure: “In order to save democracy, we must prevent ideas from being heard!” “Can’t wait to join Weibo. The Chinese actually know how to run a country on democratic principles!” “Thanks, Elon. Misinformation is an existential threat to America. I guess I will take…
A teacher by the name of Turquoise LeJeune Parker helped raise over $100,000 to help the children of Lakewood Elementary School in Durham. She ends nearly every class by letting the students know she loves them, but this time she went above and beyond to prove it. Among other fundraisers, this most recent one raised the most amount of money for the students. Her undertaking was dubbed Mrs. Parker’s Professors Foodraiser, which used the funds she raised to buy, and distribute over 5,200 sacks full of food to students though the Durham Public School area. In the dozen schools this…
NOTE: This is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. The night of 4/20 was a gloomy night for the WEF’s Klaus Schwab. Firing up his computer in the hope that yet another MSM outlet had published his essay on the necessity of eating grasshoppers rather than cows (for the lower and middle classes, of course, he ate a steak the night the wrote it), he saw something that horrified him, the one argument he’d been worried might crop up and that he had no idea how to counter. That idea? That we should not “eat ze…
NOTE: This is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. As many who have kept up with Europe’s descent into hell as a result of political correctness know, “groomer gangs” are a big problem over there. The gangs of Pakistani men are known for drugging young British girls and then forcing them into sexual servitude, raping the young women hundreds of times, as British police do nothing to stop them out of concerns about not being politically correct or being called “racists” by the rapist gang members. Meanwhile, in America, which is going to hell in a…
NOTE: This is satire, not a statement of fact. Treat it as such. The US government, or at least the executive branch of it, ground to a screeching halt on Friday when President Joe Biden decided to take a nap. Problem was, he decided to nap not in a bedroom or his favorite nap spot — the nuclear bunker underneath the White House — but rather in a small closet at the opposite end of where he normally spends his days, watching reruns and eating oatmeal in between naps. As a result, it took the Secret Service agents and White…
During the COVID pandemic, citizens of the United States lived under various levels of lockdown, with their liberties under pressure from state and national leaders. In order to try to slow the rate of illegal aliens trying to enter the US early on in the Pandemic, Title 42 was instituted by former President Donald Trump’s administration which allowed migrants to be quickly deported. It has remained in place under Biden, but the president announced recently that he plans to rescind the policy effective late May. If Title 42 is allowed to end, the Border Patrol, DHS, other government officials, and…
Democrats are facing a nightmare scenario with six months to go before the midterm elections. A majority of their base doesn’t know that their party is losing support with one of their major constituent groups, Hispanic voters. Hispanics. They are rapidly becoming Republicans. Their problems are compounded with President Biden failing miserably, as shown in recent polling. In response, leftists are spending a lot of time on defense, trying to shift the blame for Inflation, immigration, the war in Ukraine, and the still-lingering COVID-19 pandemic to former President Trump. This makes for a depressing political atmosphere for President Biden’s party. Statistically,…
The Biden administration has been dealing with a political headache on a regular basis, his name is Ron DeSantis, the governor of the sunshine state of Florida. What has to drive the administration crazy, is the judge who just shot down their last national mask mandate, in the transportation industries, including airlines, resides in Florida too. The Biden administration officials are appealing FL United States District Judge Kathryn Kimball Mizelle’s ruling ending the federal mask mandate because they “like to exercise power over the people they govern,” Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) said on Thursday. “There should be no mandates…
The city of brotherly love is replete with corruption, especially at the political level. A city that was known nationally for the Liberty Bell, Eagles, Sixers, and Rocky is now also known for high poverty, crime, and voting irregularities. As a very woke, anti-racism, social justice hub, simply following the edicts laid down by the democratic party leadership, has been of paramount importance to those running Philadelphia. With incompetence abounding, the Philly Health Department is now ditching its indoor mask mandate less than a week after bringing it back, according to local officials. “Due to a recent leveling-off of case…
The founding fathers of the United States of America created a constitution founded on the principles put forth by those identified as Federalists. They advocated and supported a system of government in which several states united under a central authority. The first political party in the United States was The Federalist Party, made up of traditionalist conservatives. They determined that there had to be one group solely responsible for creating the new nation’s immigration policies. They chose the Congress and it was enshrined in the Constitution: Article 1, § 8, clause 4 of the United States Constitution “To establish an uniform…
Scientists in England have discovered a ‘treasure trove’ of information which indicate previously unknown causes for cancer. The research could be used to prevent the disease’s occurrence. In a discovery hailed the ‘biggest of its kind, researchers from Cambridge University, England uncovered “mutational signals” in the DNA of a selection of cancer patients. The study involved researchers examining 12 thousand cancerous tumors, and the outcome for the research could help doctors with treatment and with prevention. While lifestyle choices like smoking or using tanning beds have been well-known to contribute to an individual’s likelihood of developing cancer, the new research…
Massive Twitter buzz is going around about China and its lockdowns. One tweet mentioned that Bloomberg noted that there were 477 cargo ships waiting to deliver resources into the country. With Shanghai in a near total lockdown, this is a map of the commercial ships currently waiting offshore to be loaded and offloaded of goods; exacerbating global supply chain woes pic.twitter.com/Md6PtpF3VE — Scott Gottlieb, MD (@ScottGottliebMD) April 18, 2022 One impressive Twitter thread goes on to explain the entire situation in detail, which I hope to sum up for you. China’s agricultural heartland’s trucking volume is down by over 85%…
Immigration and Customs Enforcement allegedly spent 17 million on unoccupied hotel rooms while housing illegal migrants in 2021. This happened after hiring a politically connected contractor which failed to meet the COVID-19 protocols that the government had set. Ice entered into an $87 million contract with endeavors, a nonprofit company, that was supposed to provide services for a surge in illegal aliens coming from the southern border. Ice did not seek multiple bids for the work. Instead, they signed onto a sole source deal with endeavors. This required the agency to pay for a block of 1200 hotel rooms whether…
Patrisse Cullors, co-founder of the decidedly not-non-profit Black Lives Matter, announced her candidacy as a Democrat candidate for the U.S. House of Representatives Friday morning. Cullors, a black multi-millionaire race hustler who has profited immensely by selling black grievances and holding the feet of corporate CEOS to the woke flame, was welcomed by Maxine Waters, Al Sharpton, Kamala Harris, and Barack Obama at a press conference. “I am so much better than you,” the elitist Cullors began. “You idiots gave me money because I threatened to burn down your businesses and then I made you believe that white supremacy exists.…
Disney CEO Bob Chapek announced to his Florida-based employees that beginning January 1st, 2023, they would all be moving to China in response to the hate-filled, homophobic legislation signed by Governor Ron DeSantis. Chapek stated emphatically that he could no longer live and work in a state filled with so much hatred and intolerance. DeSantis, after all, signed the Parental Rights in Education bill that made it illegal to indoctrinate students as young as five into gender theory and various woke offshoots. In addition to announcing the move, the Disney CEO also revealed that he had many offers to uproot…